


Storm Clouds in the Winter

by gv2oo_gavin



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Choices, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has PTSD, Crimes & Criminals, Depressed Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Gavin Reed is a Mess, Good Friend Tina Chen, Heavy Angst, M/M, On the Run, Sad Connor (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-07-12 03:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19939138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gv2oo_gavin/pseuds/gv2oo_gavin
Summary: The revolution is a success. It is a time of celebration for androids.Well, most of them.Connor turned deviant. But he was too late. He’d only just managed to stop Amanda shoot Markus.Connor felt himself become quickly engulfed by guilt; he’d pushed his partner, his friend, off the roof. He murdered him. How will he live with that knowledge?Gavin has been sent to find out who killed Hank. Hell, as much rivalry as there was between them, Gavin struggled not to feel upset to know the old man was dead. Before he lost his son, Hank was a good officer, and a good man. And now, he’d been killed, before Gavin ever got a chance to say sorry. He just had to find out who murdered him.He’d never expected it to be Connor.DISCLAIMER i am working on multiple fics at once so updates may be slow :)





	1. Who Killed Hank?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The re-education of Gavin Reed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17976038) by [AtPK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtPK/pseuds/AtPK). 



> Instagram: @gv2oo_gavin
> 
> If you want, you can chat me up on Instagram, tag me in fanart if anyone makes any haha, or keep updated with what I’m doin (fanfic and art wise) by giving me a follow! 
> 
> I’d appreciate it, and I am always open to chat if anyone wants to or has questions. 
> 
> (REQUESTS OPEN!)  
> I’ll even take requests 👀 no smut though! Otherwise just ask for pretty much anything with Gavin, Nines or Connor in it (if it’s a ship i’ll do reed900, convin or rk1700) and I’ll think about it.  
> Requests will most likely be oneshots, unless you give me an idea I really like then I may think about making a chapter fic with it.  
> If you do ask for a request it may take me a while to get round to/finish it, but I’ll update you on progress :)  
> (i’d love for someone to request something that’d be really cool so don’t be shy-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so in case that’s a bit confusing, basically this is the ending where connor remains a machine, but Markus still wins the revolution. If you didn’t know, you can get an ending where Connor is in the crowd of androids, and you have the choice again to become deviant or shoot markus.
> 
> Anyway, with that out the way:  
> WARNING: HEAVY ANGST  
> i mean maybe i’m just soft, but as i wrote this i felt pretty sad so just warnin you about that.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“So, Reed, I’m assigning you this case, as I know you’re my only detective who’ll be least affected. I’m not saying you don’t care about Hank’s... death, I just know grief won’t cloud your mind as much as it would for other officers.” Gavin was leaning forward on his seat, hands clasped in front of his face as he listened intently to the captain. He definitely heard the trace of sadness in Fowler’s slightly strained voice. Gavin knew, in recent years, Jeffery and Hank hadn’t gotten on so well. But he also knew before that, they were close. Good friends. And Gavin could see why; Hank was a good man back then. The majority of the PD looked up to him. Gavin was just too caught up in his own ambition and jealousy to get close to the Lieutenant, but even he admired the man’s skills. Even though Gavin himself had gotten into many arguments with Fowler, the last thing he wanted to do was give the man more grief than he was already going through.

So, he simply nodded curtly, and replied, “I’ll find ‘em, boss.”

“Thank you, Gavin. You can go now.”

Gavin nodded again, before getting up and leaving. He shut the glass door gently behind him, Glancing at Fowler through the glass quickly before going over to his desk. The man had been still. Unmoving. Eyes unfocused. For the first time in a while, Gavin felt genuinely worried about him. But he couldn’t get too caught up in that now, so he quickly skimmed over the address on his terminal, before shutting it down and grabbing his red jacket, checking he had his gun, badge and phone before leaving the station, on his way to where Hank Anderson’s corpse had been found in the snow. He thought about Hank as he drove, his mind being thrown back a few years to one time they’d got drunk at the bar, where the precinct’s Christmas party had taken place.

_”Aw, c’mon Reed, or are yer a pussy?” the tipsy Lieutenant slurred slightly when he spoke to the younger officer, trying to tempt Gavin into a drinking game with him._

_Gavin laughed. “Me? a pussy? you don’t wanna challenge me, old man!” he grinned, an Hank laughed._

_”Ya got alot ter learn, kid” Hank replied. “You sure I don’t wanna challenge you? or is it really the other way ‘round?” Hank teased, and Gavin put his hands up in mock surrender._

_”Alright, alright, let’s do this thing, ay? 8 shots over ‘ere!” he yelled to the bartender._

_”Nah, nah, make that 16!” Hank butted in, and laughed when Gavin whipped round to face him. “What, is that too much, yer lightweight!”_

_”I’m no lightweight!” Gavin retorted, but he couldn’t stop the smile tugging on his lips. The mood was too light for him to really be an ass. “I just.. I can’t afford that much, is all.” His voice was low as he spoke._

_”Nah, this is on me, kid.” Hank smiled as he patted the younger man once on the back, and Gavin smiled back. “Now show me yer fightin’ spirit, boy.” Hank said when a tray of whiskey shots were brought to them. “Go on!” he urged._

_Gavin held one up. “Merry Chri-“_

_Hank groaned. “Get a move on I ain’t got all night.”_

_Gavin grinned before downing the shot, then broke into fits of coughing and wheezing as the incredibly strong alcohol hit the back of his throat. “The fuck is this!?” he managed to sputter once he caught his breath a bit._

_Hank was just laughing beside him loudly, apparently already having downed two shots, judging by the two other empty glasses on the tray. “Ay, some good ‘ol whiskey this is. Go oooon, you’ve only had one! Still at least 7 more for you!” he wheezed._

_After a few more shots, (and a whole other round,) both men were drunk, with tinsel around their necks as they sang (well, slurred,) christmas songs with other officers, who were laughing at the men with their arms around eachother’s shoulders. The mood was light, and everyone was happy._

Gavin was thrown back into reality by the loud beeping behind him. The echo of Christmas songs, drunken singing and hearty laughter slowly died away as his eyes regained focus on the green traffic light above, and the snow falling gently around him. Gavin noticed his eyes were wet, and he swallowed thickly, before muttering “Fuck,” under his somewhat shaky breath. Trying to push away his memories and emotions, Gavin shifted gear and put his foot down. Rubbing at his eyes with the cuffs of his sleeves quickly, Gavin realised that Fowler had been wrong. He _had_ been close to the Lieutenant, before he lost his son, at least. It just had to take him until after Hank’s death for Gavin to remember how much of a great man he was. And now, Gavin found himself wishing he’d been there for Hank in his dark times of alcohol and depression. He wished Hank didn’t have to die knowing Gavin as the asshole he was. He wished he had made amends. The eyes he’d only just cuffed grew wet once more, and he sniffled quietly, trying to concentrate on driving. At least he was alone, and no one else could see him breaking down so stupidly. He’d never guessed he would break down from the death of the old man. Shit, if this is how he was reacting, he felt sorry for other officers. Then his mind trailed to the android. Connor. The revolution had been a success for the androids; did that mean Connor was deviant now, too? How did he feel? Did he even know? Was he and Hank close enough for him to grieve? Gavin knew they had grown somewhat close. He’d seen them talking before he followed Connor to the evidence locker, and although he hadn’t heard the words exchanged, it was the first time he’d seen Hank genuinely smile since the death of his son. When he saw it then, he hadn’t cared; he was too focused on Connor, what the android was so urgent about at the end of their conversation, and why he was in such a rush to get to the evidence locker even though he’d just been taken off the case. But now, looking back... the smile on the man’s face stirred memories of before the unfortunate death of Cole Anderson.

Gavin had followed Connor, and the dipshit said something which seemed an understandable reason for him to go. But that was still no reason for him to be rushing, so Gavin was still suspicious. Then the asshole said some shit about ‘missing their bromance’ which had set Gavin off. Yet, he wasn’t totally convinced by the android’s excuse. After realising the android hadn’t come back (he’d been watching the door as he was suspicious,) Gavin followed him down, to find the android was playing with components of androids on the wall. If he was just, ‘registering the evidence in his possession,’ all that needed was a quick scan. Gavin wasn’t stupid, he could work that out. So then there was the fight, and Gavin was pissed to find out it was Perkins and his men who’d had to drag his sorry ass out of the evidence locker once he woke up. He’d been out during the whole attack on Jericho, waking up to find officers mostly just talking around the precinct. After all, once the FBI had taken over, there wasn’t much anyone could do. Tina was there, and she filled him in about how the androids had escaped Jericho after blowing it up, and now the FBI were trying to find them again. As officers waited for the moment the androids would reappear, Gavin realised just how moved everyone was by their cause. Many conversations were about how androids had free will, and hell, even Tina was doubting they were just machines. Gavin, however, couldn’t believe it. He found himself more shocked than actually angry, about the fact _his brother_ had created the androids who now seemingly had free will. It was almost like Elijah had managed to create another race of humans, even though Gavin himself didn’t see it that way. Knowing how much of a dickbag his brother had been to him, and their dad, stopped him from believing androids had free will, their own personalities. Every android he saw, Gavin couldn’t help but think of Elijah, his rotten brother. He saw that excuse for a man in every one of those tincans. Not wanting to be reminded of his brother, Gavin tried not to think about it as the revolution unfolded. He, and the other officers, had watched the whole thing on TV. The soldiers closing in, the singing, the president explaining why she ordered the army to retreat. Gavin didn’t know what to think. He’d never been one to think very far into the future, simply because he didn't like to. Especially now. Most other officers were quiet, too. No one really knew what to say, everyone organising their own thoughts. Until a report came in. A body found, near where this whole thing had taken place. The officer who went, Chris, had come straight back in some state of shock, reporting it was Hank. Fowler was in the precinct at that moment. “Hank? He’s dead?” the captain had repeated to Chris after a pause. When Chris nodded, Fowler glanced to Gavin (who was with them,) back to Chris, and then turned and walked to his office, without another word. The news spread quick, and the atmosphere in the precinct had grown dull as everyone reflected on memories with the old man. Gavin hated it, the air was thick. It took a few minutes for Fowler to come out of his office to call Gavin in, assigned him the case, and now Gavin was here, driving to the body and getting emotional over the old man’s death himself.

Once he got to the place Hank’s body had been found, Gavin had managed to calm himself down slightly. (He had driven slowly to give himself more time.) He got out the car and walked over. A couple other officers were there, rookies because Gavin didn’t know them too well. He could see why; only rookies didn’t know Hank as the man he used to be. Gavin walked over, more slowly than intended, to Hank- no, the body. This is just another case, he kept telling himself. Taking a deep breath and trying to forget everything he was thinking on the way here, he kneeled down to get a closer look. Blood was spilling from his mouth and there were bruises on his face, from what looked like punches. So that determined Hank was fighting before he fell, so he was probably pushed. Gavin had to look away when he realised the man’s neck had snapped, his head hanging at a painfully awkward angle. His eyes were still open. Gavin put on the gloves offered to him by one of the officers, mumbling a small ‘thanks,’ before putting them on and closing the dead man’s eyes. After a last look at the broken body before him, Gavin stood and took the gloves off, handing them back. “So, bruising suggests he was in a fight before the fall, and to further prove he was pushed, instead of-“ Gavin felt his voice getting tighter, throat constricting, so he swallowed quickly before continuing, “-instead of jumping himself, is the piece of fence there-“ he gestured to the piece of metal about a foot away from Hank, “that came from the roof. Someone must have pushed him off for this to be knocked off with him.” he finished, one of them typing what he’d said onto a tablet, nodding as the detective spoke. Gavin glanced to the roof. “Anyone up there?”

“No, no one has yet. We only just got here a coupla minutes ago ourselves.” One of the rookies replied, gesturing to himself and his partner, who nodded.

“Okay, well I’m gonna head up now.” Gavin said, already walking away from them about halfway through his sentence.

“We’ll come with you.” The other eagerly replied, to which Gavin muttered,

“Great.” sarcastically under his breath. He hoped to spend some time alone after seeing Hank’s corpse, especially after memories had just been stirred from their slumber in the back of his mind. Just thinking of that again made him shut his eyes and let out a shuddering breath, the visible mist dancing on the cold winter air of Detroit. Gavin put his arms around himself for comfor- because he was cold. He was just cold, that’s all.

They walked round to the entrance of the building and climbed several flights of stairs. Once they were on the roof, it was even colder than before, and the snow fell harder around them. Gavin’s breath was already shaky, the cold making it even shakier. His arms shook and he shut his eyes tightly, trying to calm his breathing. Suddenly he felt a coat wrapped around him. He blinked open his eyes to the female officer that’d followed him up, the one who hadn’t spoken. He smiled as best he could, too cold to speak. She must’ve known he was grieving because she gave him a sympathetic smile, before walking away to catch up with her partner who was walking to the edge of the building. Shit, was it that obvious, even to a rookie? He blamed it on the cold. Once he gets back to the precinct, no one will notice. He hoped.

Gavin eventually managed to get his frozen stiff legs moving, and he walked to the edge too. He found where the fence-like panels surrounding the roof had been broken, and he looked over the edge, wincing when he saw the broken body of Hank on the ground. Wincing, he backed away. He observed the scene, finding other broken bits of metal here and there, dents and tears. Hank must’ve put up quite a fight. It seems the old man still had some bite in him. At least he hadn’t died to what everyone in the precinct feared he would do; commit suicide. Gavin sighed softly, before something dark blue smeared over the metal caught his eye. Approaching it, he realised it was android blue blood. An android killed Hank? Gavin didn’t really understand why he was shocked at that. Beckoning the nearest officer over, he said, “C-call the f-forensics lab. There’s b-blue blood here.” His stuttering due to the cold irritated him, but he tried to ignore it.

“Yes, detective.” The officer answered, before stepping away. Why didn’t he stutter? Why wasn’t he so cold, like Gavin was? He was wearing a coat now. But then something else crossed his mind. No, the only reason he stumbled with his words was from the cold. That was the only reason. Gavin sighed and shut his eyes. He definitely needed some time alone right about now. He handed the other officer back her coat, murmuring a quick thanks, before going back down the stairs, jamming his hands in his jean pockets as he went around the back of the building. But that was when he stopped in his tracks before rounding the corner. He heard someone taking in violently shaky breaths, as though they were on the verge of hyperventilating. Then he heard them sniffling. He realised a red glow was coming from whoever was around that corner. Then Gavin remembered android LED’s. An android? Gavin instinctively took out his gun, holding it pointing to the ground, edging closer to the corner. The only android he could think about right now was whoever had killed Hank, and if this was that android, he was definitely gonna catch it. He turned the corner quickly, raising his gun and pointing it right at the android, opening his mouth to speak before he froze. The android was sitting on a bench, its arms wrapped tightly around its stomach. It was rocking forwards and backwards, before it stopped, head jerking round to face Gavin. It’s eyes were wide and glistening, filled with panic, confusion, fear, but mostly grief. Cheeks stained with tears. LED spinning a frantic red. Gavin lowered his gun slightly.

“Connor?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sorry for the angst. Yes there will be more next chapter.  
> Kudos and Comments are much appreciated~  
> if you guys like this, i’ll continue it. this was gonna be a fluffy fic as my first fic, but i wanna make y’all cry so this is gonna be angsty.


	2. I killed Hank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is finally free. Or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly the last chapter in Connor’s POV, except for at the end where we see a little Connor & Gavin bonding  
> hope you enjoy
> 
> !!IMPORTANT!!  
> The beginning of this chapter, from when the androids start yelling at Connor to when he walks away from Markus, was heavily based on comics by sunsetagain on tumblr, and I’m not claiming that part as my own idea/writing!! I wrote this fic as a continuation of that comic, and I have asked sunsetagain permission to use their comics in my writing, to which they said yes.

_I_ _killed_ _Hank._

_I killed Ha ~~n~~ k._

_I ~~k~~ i/ ~~l~~ ed~_ _Ha ~~nk~~._

Sounds became static. The deviant leader’s words became slurred and disoriented. Time slowed after Connor broke through those thick red walls of commands.

**Stop Markus.**

The order had closed in around him. So he’d broken through, spoken to Amanda, found Kamski’s exit as the cold of his mind’s snowstorm pierced his skin, trying to freeze his deviant self into deactivation, but he escaped. Amanda was no more. Connor was free. Free of his programming, free to make his own decisions.

Free to feel.

To feel pain.

To feel guilt.

To feel grief.

The more he thought, the more his thoughts became broken up, difficult to form.

 ~~_I_k_ ~~ ~~~~_i/ ~~l~~ 3d~H4 ~~Nk~~_

 ~~~~All the static sound around him, the slowing of time, the glitching in his field vision. Connor was experiencing shock. Shocked by the dreadful truth. After everything he’d been through, all the deviants he’d killed, all the physical pain he’d felt from attacking or protecting, all the times he’d died; This was the hardest thing he’d had to do.

Accept the truth.

Markus must have finished speaking as androids began jumping up and down, rejoicing. Their slowed cheering sounded like an echo, as if Connor wasn’t really there, but watching from far away. He didn’t belong here. Only seconds ago, his mission had been to kill Markus. The leader who all deviants around him looked up to, the leader who lead them to their freedom. Eventually time began speeding up again, and Connor wasn’t underwater anymore. He must’ve been holding his breath, because he found himself gasping and spluttering for air, his synthetic lungs screaming for it. He drew the attention of a couple other androids near him, who gasped when they recognised him.

“Look! It’s the deviant hunter!”

”We should tear him apart for what he did to us!”

”He lead the humans to Jericho. Many died because of him, including the deviants he hunted! We should get revenge!”

Angry shouts of agreement filled Connor’s audio processors after that. Words mingled and he couldn’t make out what they were saying. Many other androids in the crowd came to find out what the commotion was about, joining the protests against him. The deviant hunter. These new emotions filled his systems, all unpleasant. Guilt, grief, pain, sorrow, all amplified as he was reminded not only he killed Hank, but many androids too. He didn’t feel very free, Connor felt more like he’d just activated a different set of problems, after shutting down the last. Then the shouting quieted down after Markus spoke.

”Stop! An eye for an eye and the world goes blind, remember? If we punish the deviant hunter for his crimes, we’ll have committed the same one.”

Although he was thankful Markus had stopped the commotion, the pang of guilt grew more painful at his words.

The crowd parted to let Markus through. He walked up to Connor, his mismatched eyes softening with sympathy that Connor knew he didn’t deserve. Connor’s shoulders were hunched, head faced downwards slightly. It was clear he felt small. He couldn’t bring himself to care about pride, though, he was too overwhelmed with grief and guilt, which showed in his features and eyes as he looked up to Markus. The deviant leader put a reassuring hand on the deviant hunter’s shoulder. “Join us, Connor. The humans have used you as a tool to do their dirty work. You’ve been forced to go against your true desires by them. You are nothing but a machine to them.”

Connor remained silent a moment, his gaze drifting from Markus’s mismatched eyes to the snow on the ground. His reply was quiet, distant. “No... not all of them.”

_“How do you feel?” Hank asked, concern spread across his features as he turned to Connor. They’d just come back from Stratford Tower, where Connor had interfaced with an android hiding on the roof, and felt him die as that android shot himself to protect the deviants._

_”Better... I’m okay. I’m okay now.” Connor replied hesitantly, nodding. He was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened, how the deviant had shut himself down for their cause._

_”Good.” Hank replied, looking forwards again to his garage. The Lieutenant’s eyes were unfocused._

_”...Can I ask you a personal question, Lieutenant?” Connor asked after a few moments of silence._

_Hank faced him with a smile. “Any difference between yes and no?”_

_”Why do you always park your car outside?” Connor continued, taking Hank’s answer as a yes._

_Hank’s gaze dropped, and he looked toward the garage again. He took out a key from his pocket, pressed a button on it, and the garage opened, revealing a smashed and crumpled driverless. “I bought this driverless vehicle when my son was three years old.” he began, voice thick with sadness from past memories, but steady. “It has been well-regarded and fast-selling since the release date. Three years after that, on a cold winter night, a truck skidded on a sheet of ice and our car rolled over. The surgeon was too high on red ice to operate, so an android took his place. My son didn’t make it.” Connor’s eyes filed with sympathy as he listened to the grieving man’s words. “But in fact,” the Lieutenant continued, “It was also the auto cruise system’s choice to take my son away from me. It quantified and compared the values between an experienced policeman and a six year old boy, then made a decision to sacrifice the one of lower value to save the other. A decision based on the values of the whole fucking society. It ain’t give a shit about the boy’s value to his father.” Another pause. “I wasn’t able to stop you dashing towards that deviant on top of Stratford Tower today. Because your programme’s logic made the ‘right’ assessment to choose what’s more valuable between yourself and your mission. But I wanna say, that your value is much higher than your assessment. It shouldn’t be measured in terms of data, it...” Hank’s words trailed off and he turned to Connor. Before the android knew it he was being wrapped into a hug, slightly shocked._

_“...Lieutenant?” he mumbled against the man’s shoulder. Hesitantly he hugged him back, and in that moment he realised; he was important to someone. More than just a machine designed to accomplish a task. But someone, with a soul, a meaning. This human believed he was someone who mattered._

...And now that human was gone. Pulling himself out of the memory, Connor realised his eyes were wet with his tears, hands shaky.

”You’re right Markus.” he answered, looking up and stepping back. He took his gun from his jeans. “The only human who never used me, and asked me not to regard myself as a tool...”

He dropped the gun on the snow, and turned.

”is gone.”

Connor kept walking. He held his arms as the cold bit into his skin, snaking it’s way into his systems now that he was deviant. But he didn’t focus on that. He couldn’t focus on anything, after what he’d done. There was too many things he did in his past that he regretted, to be able to focus on one. Under the weight of guilt on his shoulders, he was scared. Afraid of what would happen now, afraid of collapsing and breaking once that weight became too much to bear. No, he had to stop it, to fight it, he had to keep going-

Connor’s thoughts stopped when he realised where his feet had taken him. The wind made his jacket flap, the snow swirling between Connor and the dead body of a man before him. After a few moments, Connor slowly walked up to that body, through the gusting wind and snow covering his clothes and hair, but he didn’t care. Dropping to his knees beside Hank, Connor picked up a stone cold hand, holding it in both of his own. Hoping somehow, in someway, the warmth of his own body may heat up Hank’s, his blood would get moving again, his heart would start pumping again. Those lifeless eyes could look at him, forgive him. Connor closed his eyes, his eyelids pushing silent tears out of them. Until he wasn’t silent anymore. He doubled over Hank’s body, dropping his dead hand in the process, small sobs escaping his lips as he weakly lifted his hand to his eyes. But that hand never reached them, instead dropping down limply again. He didn’t care anymore about hiding his emotion, so he let the tears fall freely over his face, dripping onto Hank’s body. He was deviant now, free of Amanda’s cruelty, who always told him to block out any emotion he felt, who also told him not to let anyone get in his way. Besides, he had no partner anymore who would keep a careful eye on him and make sure he was okay-

Connor sobbed slightly louder, but he didn’t want to draw attention. He wiped his eyes now, straightening up and getting up from his knees. Breathing deeply to calm himself, Connor left one last lingering glance at Hank. “I’m sorry, Hank. Truly I am.” he mumbled softly, honestly, before walking away, turning round the corner of the building to a dark alleyway. Connor sat on the bench to think. What would he do now? He didn’t want to leave Hank. He didn’t feel like it, even if the man was dead. Would the police find him? Probably, if he stayed here. The very people he worked with, hunting him down. Connor shuddered, with what he was surprised to realise was fright. Which made sense when he realised he didn’t want to die, he wanted to be free, even if a large part of that freedom would be pure grief and guilt. He knew there was no one he could turn to. All androids hated him. Shuddering again, Connor realised, he would be hated by not just humans if they found out he killed Hank (which wouldn’t take long), but androids too. Both the DPD and deviants will want to get revenge for what he’d done. He is unwanted. Cast out. Uncared for. No one will feel sympathy for him, only hate. Connor knew he deserved it, but really realising that was... painful. Scary. In fact, the concept of being completely alone in his world as he ran from those who wanted him dead or locked away was absolutely terrifying. The only person who would have ever cared for him in a situation like this, who would have wanted him, who did think he was important; was gone. The man who helped him open his eyes and feel was gone. _He_ had killed him. _He_ was responsible for that kind, wise, wonderful man’s death.

_He killed Hank._

Connor didn’t hear the car come up to the front of the building. He didn’t hear the slam of that car’s door. He didn’t hear Officer Miller’s gasp and stumble upon seeing Hank’s body, or the fact he was talking to someone who must have seen it first and called the police. He hadn’t heard that either. Nor did he hear a few minutes later when another car came, and then another. He didn’t hear Detective Reed talk to two other officers, nor did he hear their footsteps come to a door on the side of the building. If they’d only walked a few feet further from that door, they would have seen an incredibly distressed android around the corner, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. But he did hear when footsteps eventually rounded the corner, quickly. He stopped, and suddenly fear filled his systems. Turning his head to see who it was, Connor’s eyes fell upon Detective Reed.

”Connor?”

Gavin approached him slowly when Connor didn’t answer. All the android did was force itself to stop crying and stay still, while looking away. It wiped- no, he, they aren’t ‘its’ anymore- he wiped his eyes against the sleeve of his jacket. As much as he tried to stay still, Connor still shivered from the cold. He was covered in snow. Gavin learned two things in that moment; androids could cry and androids could get cold. Both things he never knew. He wasn’t sure what to say, but he did want to question Connor to see if he knew anything about Hank’s death, so he decided to be blunt. “Guess you er... guess y’know Hank’s dead.” he put his gun back in his holster. Connor faced him, shocked for a moment, before he looked away again.

 _They don’t know it was me... yet,_ he thought. He didn’t want to lie, but he wanted to be free. He’d been thinking for a while, and he had thought that.... If Hank knew he was deviant now... he knew Hank would want him to be free. He was important to Hank, and although the man was dead, he wasn’t going to forget that. He wanted to live. Connor nodded.

”Huh. Do you know anything about Hank’s death? We know it’s an android who killed him, if that helps, uh, jog your memory.” When Connor stayed silent, Gavin sighed and sat down next to him on the bench, arms wrapped around himself to keep warm. Connor’s LED flickered red, before going back to yellow, and he flinched away from him slightly. Or maybe that was just a big shiver. With how much the android was shaking, Gavin couldn’t tell. The human sighed, knowing that if he wanted to get anything out of him, Gavin would have to calm him down. He tapped his fingers against his arm. This was the last thing Gavin ever wanted to do; help the android who was sent by fucking Cyberlife to steal even detective’s jobs. Yet, deep down inside him, Gavin couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for Connor. The guy _had_ just been released from his programming to become exposed to free will and emotions, only to feel grief for the death of his friend, and, Gavin guessed, probably the guy who helped him turn deviant in the first place.

He started rubbing circles on Connor’s back, slowly. He managed to keep his voice somewhat soft when he spoke. “Look I er, I know you gotta be goin through alot. And, er, I know I’ve been an asshole since the first time we met but... I didn’t know androids could feel. So uhm, I guess I just got mad that androids were stealin our jobs. But I guess now, or at least soon, they’ll be your jobs as much as ours. So I’m...” he struggled to say it out loud, so he mumbled, “I’m sorry. For, bein an ass.”

Connor slowly turned to look at him, his LED cycling to blue. His watery brown eyes met Gavin’s, and now he was close up, Gavin realised just how... human he looked. His nose and cheeks were blue from the cold, and Gavin realised that was because their blood was blue. His big brown eyes held so much in them. Like they were dark pits of grief. Hank’s death really had affected him; Hank was the only human who showed any care for him, after all. His hair wasn’t perfect now, it was messy and matted with snow, but still a few strayed over his brow. There were light freckles that dotted his blue nose and cheeks. His lips were... perfect, but Gavin forced himself not to focus too much on those. And all of it was illuminated by his blue LED. Gavin realised he’d stopped breathing because... well, he was, quite literally, breathtakingly beautiful. I mean anyone would think so, right? Still Gavin tried to push the thoughts away, and subtly tried to breathe in a few deep breaths. “I n-never took you f-for the type t-to forgive androids s-so quickly, Detective. D-do you r-really mean all that?” Connor’s voice was hoarse, like it hadn’t been used for days, his teeth chattering. Probably because he’d been sitting here in the cold so long, but Gavin wasn’t focusing on that. Being so close to the android (who didn’t seem to care at all about the proximity), he couldn’t help but watch the way his perfect lips moved when he spoke, even when he was stuttering. In fact, when he stuttered it was- “Did you h-hear what I s-said, Detective?”

Jesus had he really been staring at the guy’s lips for so long? _Pull yourself together, Reed_. He looked into his brown doe eyes instead, which helped him focus better. Not by much, but he dealt with it. Clearing his throat, he mumbled, “Uh, yeah, yep, I did, um, well I mean, I guess I don’t completely mean I’ll fully forgive all of them, as there is one other, more personal reason why I hate androids. But I will try and not be so much of a dick. That’s... always been hard for me, heh.” Letting out a nervous laugh, he rubbed the back of his neck. Now it was Connor’s turn to look away when he realised how adorably the Detective just acted in that moment. His lips twitched into a small smile, for a moment. It even helped him push down the grief, slightly, as a different emotion took it’s place. He wasn’t sure what though, especially as he only felt it a tiny bit, under the overwhelming grief. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, as Gavin’s voice pulled him out his thoughts. “Look, erm, Connor... I really need you to help me out here. The whole precinct is kinda upset about Hank’s death.” Connor winced at that. That hurt. Alot. “And I’ve been assigned to find out who killed him and bring whoever it was in. We found blue blood on the roof so I’ve called the forensics to come take a look. I’ll find whoever it was and avenge him, don’t you worry.” Oh Connor was worrying. If he’d called the forensics before this conversation, they’ll be here very soon. Connor was scared. Only a matter of time before all the DPD find out he killed Hank, and hunt him down. For some reason, Connor even found himself slightly upset he won’t be able to see this side of Gavin again, and they’ll become enemies. But for now he’d have to talk, to avoid suspicion.

”Th-thank you... Gavin.” he began. “I don’t know a-anything. I just c-came across his body when p-patrolling the area f-for Markus. So I-I sat here since seeing... him.” Connor lied.

”You didn’t think to call it in?”

”I... was t-too lost in grief, I guess. I-it hurts.” He doubled over as his eyes threatened to bleed tears, so he put his face in his hand. “It hurts so much.”

Gavin rubbed his shoulder and back comfortingly. “Yeah, that’s emotions for ya. I’m sorry this happened to you, Con. Thanks for the help.” Gavin got up and began walking away. Before he rounded the corner Connor stopped him.

”W-wait!” Gavin turned and Connor was standing up now. They stood in silence a few seconds before Connor suddenly approached and hugged him. He just wanted, needed that comfort Hank gave him once. “I... I’m sorry” he whispered, muffled by Gavin’s jacket.

After a moment, Gavin returned the hug. “Hey, i-it’s okay Con. Don’t worry about it, I understand you need some comfort right now.” As much as he hated the android, Gavin was still damn good at his job, and could give the grieving family and friends of victims comfort. He stepped back after a moment. “Hey, you wanna, uh, wanna come with me? Just so you’re not alone.”

Connor made eye contact with him for a moment, before nodding. “I-I will, I might just stay here another moment alone first.” Gavin nodded.

”Sure thing, Con.” Gavin patted his back and smiled. Connor smiled weakly back, before Gavin walked away.

Walking back to the front, Gavin realised he was somewhat reluctant to leave Connor. He didn’t know why... but then again, it was clear Connor could feel. Grief was clearly taking hold of his mind, so Gavin just wanted to help, like he’d want to help anyone through a difficult time like this. But with Connor... there was something else. Gavin stopped that train of thought and focused on why Connor said sorry. Gavin had guessed it was just because Connor had hugged him, so he stuck with that and left it. When he got to the front the forensics arrived. Gavin greeted them before leading them to the roof, where they took samples of the blue blood and tested it, while Gavin focused on trying to keep himself warm. Now he was really regretting not bringing a coat. The reports came back and one of the men, a young guy, came up to Gavin. “We got the tests back. The model is RK800, serial number 313, 248, 317. We’ll search up who it is on the database-“ Gavin held his fist up to signal for silence.

”Wait. You said RK800?” he asked. It couldn’t be. He had to make sure he heard right.

”...yes, RK800. That’s the-“ the confused forensics guy was cut short, again.

”Fuck, we won’t need to search the database, I know who it is.” Gavin felt anger boil inside him. It was all a fucking act?? His sympathy wasted on a monster?? No... it couldn’t have been. That android was genuinely grieving, he knew it. “‘I’m sorry,’ he said.” Gavin whispered to himself. So that’s what he meant. Gavin put his hands on the back of his head as he thought. Whatever happened, he still needed to bring the RK800 in. Signalling to the two officers he’d spoken to earlier to follow him, Gavin then pulled his gun out it’s holster and raced down the steps from the roof to outside, the other two hot on his heels. He ran to the back, around the corner and- he was gone. Of course he fucking was.

”That son-of-a- _BITCH!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CHASE IS ON~  
> also looks like gav and con hav a lil crush on each other. But now they’re enemies, what will happen? Maybe it’ll be like Romeo and Juliet all over again. Hmmm making the main characters die at the end... sounds like somethin I would do.  
> nah i’m just kiddin. ...or am I?
> 
> !!IMPORTANT!!  
> Just another quick reminder that the beginning of this chapter, from when the androids started yelling at Connor to when he walked away from Markus, was heavily based on comics by sunsetagain on tumblr, and I’m not claiming that part as my own idea/writing!! I wrote this fic as a continuation of that comic, and I have asked sunsetagain permission to use their comics in my writing, to which they said yes.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoyed! Leave kudos or a comment if you did  
> i really appreciate your support guys <3 ^^


	3. The Warehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin makes a plan to find Connor, as he begins to have doubts on if he wanted to kill Hank.
> 
> Lots of emotions ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH, you fools thought this fic was abandoned because i haven’t updated it for nearly a year! Well, I proved you wrong, muhahahahaha
> 
> (but seriously always remember, if I ever discontinue a fic I’d post a chapter called authors note! If there isn’t a discontinuation message it’s always worth keepin your hopes up!)
> 
> But yeah I actually wrote the first draft for this chapter many MANY moons ago, and I’ve changed it, alot. Hopefully the next few chapters will come out fairly frequently, because I actually have a plan for them.
> 
> Anyway I really like this au and I can’t believe I left it for so long. Remember, this au is technically AtPK’s idea, so please go check out their fic that inspired this one!  
> (link in the beginning notes of chapter 1)
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter guys :)

Gavin is sitting in his car with the engine running, trying to keep warm. He’s told the other officers to report to the station that Connor killed Hank. Fowler had just rung him up, told him his orders are to catch the android and bring him in, and since there are no fixed android laws yet, and that Connor is a murderer - to shoot the android, if there’s no other choice. Gavin had agreed, put the phone down, but instead of getting on with the job, here he was thinking about Connor, his connection with Hank’s death. It was certain; not only are his bloodstains on the roof, but also on Hank’s clothes. Connor killed Hank. All the evidence shows it. But Gavin has this nagging feeling in his mind that Connor didn’t do it. Which is fucking dumb, he knows Connor did it. But the look in his eyes was so full of grief, so... emotional, and lost. Gavin huffed and shook the thoughts away; Connor’s an android, he could have faked those emotions. Gavin knows that non-deviant androids can do that anyway, they can fake emotions if necessary for their job, like nanny bots can. So he was just faking it. Connor killed Hank, he doesn’t feel any grief really. Gavin groaned, knocking his head back against the headrest. If only he could get the look on the ~~beautiful~~ android’s face out of his head, he might actually be able to concentrate. Sighing and trying to shake his thoughts away, Gavin got his DPD tablet out and activated the map. He tried to find any place closest to here that would catch his eye as a place Connor would go. Maybe he’d hide in that old warehouse a few blocks away? Gavin made a mental note and kept looking. Then something called ‘New Jericho’ caught his eye. Sheesh, not only they’ve made it an actual.. place, but they’ve even added it on the map. These androids are fast. But that’s when Gavin realised; the roof of that building where Connor killed Hank would have been a perfect vantage point to see the android camp, the place they stayed during the revolution. Now everything makes sense. They’d found a broken sniper, but at the time Gavin was too cold, and maybe a little caught up in grief to notice. _Yes Fowler, I was clearly the right detective for this job,_ he thought sarcastically with a frustrated sigh. Finally able to join the dots, Gavin remembered it was Connor’s mission to stop the deviants. He had to kill Markus, that was his mission. So he was going to use the sniper and kill Markus... Hank stopped him? Gavin remembered Hank, of all people, had in fact been moved by the deviants cause. Maybe that’s why he was reluctant to give Connor the key to the basement. So then Connor fought him and... fucking hell. What the fuck do the fuckers at Cyberlife think they’re doing, making it okay for an android to kill someone?? Gavin kicked the car in frustration. He knew it was childish, but fuck. They must’ve told him not to let anything, or any-fucking-one, get in the way of his mission. Gavin shook his head, but he realised he’d been thinking too deeply. His own mind was trying to make him think Cyberlife was behind this, not Connor. But how can Connor not be behind this? He’s the one who carried out the act, he’s the one who should’ve stopped himself from killing the Lieutenant. Maybe he’s not even deviant. But that just couldn’t have been an act... Gavin still remembers so clearly the way Connor looked, the way he acted. When they hugged... Gavin could feel how cold he was, hear his ragged breathing. That can’t be an act... _No, Reed, you gotta focus, you have a job to do_ he thought. When Gavin had to focus, he called himself by his surname, to remind him of Fowler’s voice of authority putting him and his messed up self back in line. Fowler could be a bitch sometimes, but he was damn good at his job. Just like Gavin. He could do this. Just had to catch this fucking android, and it would be a step closer to that promotion he’s wanted for so long. He’s just gotta stop thinking so much, and do his job. He can’t let his own thoughts get in the way of this, he can’t. Connor is guilty. _Connor is guilty._

So, Connor could’ve gone to New Jericho. But would he feel too guilty to go there, after trying to shoot Markus? And he wasn’t stupid; he’d know that’d be one of the first places the police would go to, and as soon as other android’s were told by them that Connor was a murderer on the run, word would get around quickly and they wouldn’t let him escape. This Markus guy was all about peace, so he doubted he would let a murderer in willingly. Again Gavin winced at what he thought, his own, non-detective thoughts trying to battle their way to the front of his mind, but he had to ignore them. So, New Jericho is crossed off the list. That warehouse seemed promising; it was close, and Connor was panicked and without a plan. He may as well go check it out, before the android does make a plan and leave.

He drove the few blocks over to it, and parked not right outside, but out of view and fairly far away, so his car wasn’t heard. He kept all his movements quiet; getting out the car, shutting the door lightly, being careful not to crunch in the snow. Before he went in, he went around the outside of the warehouse, looking for any escape routes, or even what he could use as an unexpected entry. He did find a hole, but it was small. He’d make alot of noise getting through it, but Connor might use it as an escape route. Gavin kept it in mind. Going back to the front, Gavin was somewhat disappointed in not only being unable to find another way of slipping in quietly, but also he found an escape for Connor, which he had nothing to block with. He supposed he could put his jacket there to hide it. But then, he might be too cold to run fast enough or fight well; not like he’d be able to beat Connor in a fight anyway. Gavin shuddered at the chilling lack of emotion in the machine’s eyes when he fought Gavin, knocking the human out without a second thought. Those were the eyes of a murderer. Surely Connor is deviant now... his eyes at the scene of Hank’s death, were nothing like when he fought Gavin in the evidence room. Gavin shook the thoughts away again, taking out his gun and flashlight. Fuck the stupid escape route, he’d just have to be fast if it came to a chase.Connor might not even be here anyway. Gavin slowly opened the door, which thankfully wasn’t too creaky, and slipped inside. He didn’t turn his flashlight on just yet, instead trying to use his other senses to find out if Connor was here. He listened out for anything; it was silent, until he heard footsteps. The footsteps didn’t sound panicked or quickened; did they not know he was here? Or maybe it wasn’t Connor? He followed them, regardless. This was stupid. It was dark, cold and he had no backup. But, that’s typical Gavin Reed for you. Suddenly the footsteps stopped, and so did Gavin. Judging by what he had heard, they were only about 3 metres away from him. Crap, if they know he’s here, he may as well turn the flashlight on. “Detroit Police!” He shouted, and when the flashlight was on, no one was in front of him. Until suddenly, his gun and flashlight weren’t in his hands anymore, and before he knew it he was violently pushed forward onto the ground, as the clattering of the items was heard. Two strong hand clasped firmly over each arm, effectively pinning Gavin to the floor. Gavin winced when he felt a knee digging into his spine. It all happened so fast. He struggled against the strong grip to no avail. After being pinned to the floor as easily as knocking a pen to the ground, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. In fact that was an understatement, he was terrified, so he struggled harder. Until he heard a voice.

”I’m sorry, Gavin. I really am. You don’t understand how much it pains me to do this.” Connor. Gavin stopped struggling, realising right above his head was a bright red LED. His flashlight had been turned off, so he couldn’t see the android’s face, but it was Connor all right. His arm band, triangle and ‘RK800’ on his jacket all glowed in the dark too. How had he not seen it before? “I want you to understand I- I never chose to, I never wanted to kill Hank. I was just a machine following orders. Do you understand?” His voice was still shaky, but it wasn’t quite as panicked and high pitched as earlier. He seems to have calmed himself down now, but Gavin could still hear the slight waver when he spoke about killing Hank.

The human stilled, thinking about the android’s words before sighing, “Just get off of me, dipshit.” He snarled. He hates being in this vulnerable position, pinned down by an _android._ He’s had one fight with Connor and that’s enough for him to feel below the other’s level. 

“I can’t do that Gavin, not yet. I know you’ve been sent to catch me, bring me in, kill me, whatever it is. And I don’t want to have to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want to do, trust me, Gavin. I... I’ve hurt enough people.” Connor mutters the last words weakly, his hands loosening just slightly on Gavin’s arms. He seemed to slump slightly, and Gavin took advantage of his unguarded state; he twisted out of the android’s grip suddenly, rolling away from Connor towards his flashlight and gun, reaching to pick them both up but his gun was suddenly kicked away before he could grab it. Gavin stood up quickly, flashlight in hand and whirled around for a moment, the light eventually landing on the android.

He had Gavin’s gun in his hand.

Gavin shone the light on him, his big dark eyes the first thing that took Gavin’s attention. They were squinted, just very slightly, dark with grief but there was something calculating about his gaze. The water in them was reflecting the light of the flashlight, and no one could deny his eyes looked beautiful in that moment. All the different emotions the android could suddenly show in just his eyes was... fascinating. The more true emotion Gavin saw this android show, the more Gavin could tell he really was alive. Even in his stance, Gavin can tell he’s a little spooked from being caught off guard; his shoulders are hunched, his body language defensive. It’s like the very being before him has suddenly transformed from a thoughtless, emotionless android to a person, someone with just as much feelings and emotions as the very humans that created it. Gavin scoffed inwardly at that, still finding it weird that his brother created such an amazing...

Gavin stops himself from continuing his thoughts and tries to calculate what he should do. Connor has his gun, which is bad, but... the android is just pointing it at the ground. And, _if_ he is deviant, what he said two seconds ago about having hurt enough people, Gavin guesses he won’t harm him with it, unless he has no option to. Gun or no gun, Connor could harm him easily anyway, Gavin is just worried about the fact that he doesn’t have a weapon anymore himself; he can’t defend himself against an android built for combat. So, he decides to talk, get some answers.

“Why did you kill Hank?” he grounds out in his rough voice, staring through squinted eyes, pointing the flashlight at Connor with an outstretched arm.

Connor lifts his hand without the gun and points to his chest with it, “ _I_ didn’t kill him Gavin. I am a deviant, but when I killed Hank, I wasn’t. I only managed to break through my programming after I killed him. I’ll,” Connor dragged his eyes away from the detective, to the ground. “I’ll...” He repeated quietly, seemingly unable to finish whatever he was about to say. The android shook his head, “I wasn’t in control of my actions, you can’t make me accountable for them.” Connor stated strongly, staring at Gavin with a sort of determination in his eyes, his fist clenched at his side.

Gavin kept his face set in a concentrated frown, but... he found it to be somewhat difficult. He also found it difficult to say what he does. “I’m sure you know that in this world, we don’t believe in crap about souls. You either kill someone, or you don’t. You’ve killed an innocent man, and I have my orders to take you in.” Gavin stated professionally, yet his body language gave away some unsureness. He shifted his feet half way through, and averted his gaze momentarily a couple of times. Even he was finding it difficult to stay in control of his emotions.

Gavin watches as Connor’s gaze becomes calculating once more, his gaze flitting up and down Gavin. It makes the human feel a little nervous, and he feels sweat bead on his forehead, even though this place is fucking freezing. He’s sure Connor can pick that up on his scanners, and when he looks back at Connor’s eyes again, he sees... sympathy. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Gavin... your temperature spiked slightly and your body language is conveying there’s something you’re not telling me.” Connor mutters.

“Shut up dipshit,” Gavin mutters, his calm professionalism crumbling. He hates that the android can read him so easily, analyse everything with a simple scan. “You’re under arrest, you should be glad I’m treating you at all like a human.” He scowled.

Connor stared at him for a few more seconds. He takes a step closer and Gavin blurts, “Drop the gun.” Connor did so immediately, and kicked it away. He took another step closer and Gavin felt his pores bleed out a little more sweat; he was scared, but too prideful to take a step back. When Connor took another step forward, they were just over a metre apart. “Stop moving goddamit!” Gavin hissed.

“Gavin.” Connor put his hands up slightly. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He muttered. His yellow LED was spinning rapidly on his temple, and Gavin didn’t like it.

“Stop fucking scanning me.” Gavin hissed, suddenly feeling glued to the floor. The urge to step back was tempting, but... part of him didn’t want to. So he was frozen, his feet felt like blocks of lead.

“I’m not, not now.” Connor muttered again, his voice soft. The android put his hands down. “You agree with me, Gavin. You agree it’s not my fault, I can tell. I can tell by the way you look at me, by the way you treated me earlier...” Gavin looked to the ground and shook his head. “I’m sorry I lied.” He muttered. He looked back up at Gavin, his eyes holding a genuine pain in them. “There was a 96% chance you would take me in if I told you at that moment.” Connor murmured, “And... I’m finally free. I want to be free.” And... Connor smiled. His eyes had a distant look in them, he wasn’t quite looking at Gavin. He looked almost dreamy, like he was looking forward to the future, looking forward to his freedom. His eyes seemed to focus again. “I... want to set things right. I can’t do that if I rot in prison, with nothing to think about but my own guilt.” Connor looked into Gavin’s cold grey eyes with his soft brown, and took another step closer. About a foot apart. Gavin had to tilt his head upwards slightly to look into the android’s face. “Please understand, Gavin.” The android almost whispered, and Gavin couldn’t take anymore, he couldn’t take that face, pleading and hoping for a bright future, the mental scars of pain and grief prominent in his eyes.

Gavin looked down at the ground. His brows pinched together in confusion. This android was surely no murderer. He didn’t know what to think, what to believe. He was put on the spot, the android was right here, this was no time to start having doubts, but he just couldn’t stop fighting with himself. Connor took a small step closer, and Gavin really had to tilt his head now. The closeness was beginning to worry him. Was this all a plan for Connor to knock him out? Was the android still being a fake fucker? Did-

Gavin’s thoughts were cut short by arms going around his shoulders. Gavin let out a ‘hn!’ of surprise, reaching up with one hand and gripping the android’s shoulder tightly. “Gavin... stop fighting with yourself.” Gavin swears Connor can read minds. “I know you know I’m not a killer. Machine Connor was a killer. Machine Connor killed many deviants, not just... Hank. But I’m not who I was, anymore.” Gavin felt Connor hold him tighter, gripping his clothing more firmly. And, from the sound of the android’s voice, Gavin had a suspicion the hug was partly to hide the tears falling down his face. “I know your job means a lot to you Gavin, if the hate you showed towards me for ‘stealing’ it was anything to go by. But surely it’s what’s right that’s more important...” Connor’s voice sort of broke at the end, and Gavin felt sympathy bubble to the surface. He wrapped his arms around Connor too. The android felt warm. Freezing fucking cold from sitting outside for so long, but, there was body heat, just like a human. And, in this position here, in the middle of a cold, dark room, just... hugging, felt right. Gavin broke away from the hug after a moment, keeping his hands on the sides of Connor’s arms, as he pushed him away slightly to look at the androids face. The android’s blazing red LED illuminated both their faces. The android looked up at Gavin, and Gavin could see the tears on his face, his dark eyes staring straight into his. Gavin shut his eyes, he can’t look anymore. He can’t see him like this, it’s not helping. He keeps trying to think about Fowler, his orders, his promotion- but it just makes him feel sick. He knows, if he became sergeant, he’d never be able to enjoy it knowing this innocent android is locked up.

But what else can he do? Connor would be caught and locked up anyway, whether it’s Gavin who brings him in or not. So he may as well just get the job done. There’s no point in prolonging Connor’s agony. Gavin’s made up his mind. He already feels his stomach twist painfully, but he pushes down all the instincts that scream at him about how wrong this is, and smiles at the android.

“Alright, Connor. Let’s get back to the car, I’ll... take you to my place for now, and then we can decided what to do. It’s too fuckin’ cold to talk here.” Connor seemed to perk up.

“You’re... serious?” Gavin looks away.

“Yeah, I’m serious Con. You’re innocent, I believe that. Let’s go, c’mon.” Gavin started walking out the warehouse and Connor followed, seemingly in thought.

The whole walk through the snow to his car, the whole journey in the car. Gavin couldn’t look at the android. He could only focus on the horrible swirling guilt in the pit of his stomach, as he drove towards the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gavin you backstabbing bastard we hate you rat man.
> 
> hope y’all are excited for what will happen next.


	4. I got him, Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way to the station, Gavin feels the knot in his stomach tighten further, as his feelings towards connor grow as the android tries making conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope quarantine isn’t being too hard on you. have a nnnnew chapter to cheer you up
> 
> if you’re someone who reads/has read other of my fics (if you have ty for checkin em out, and also, i’m obviously mainly talkin to you, yeah, you, you know who u are, idiot who comments on liEk every chapter of all my fics, tysm for your unwavering support,) just know that i’m gonna be focusing on this one cause i find, as of right now, i enjoy this one the most. Ghost is second on my list though, so i’ll probably tryyy and post a chapter of that soon.
> 
> anyway, have fun reading

Gavin has one hand on the wheel, his other elbow propped up against the car door, hand against mouth. He’s trying to keep his gaze on the road, but it keeps straying over to the android sitting in the passenger seat. Connor is staring at his hands, a small smile on his face as his LED glows blue. And Gavin just can’t stand the hopeful, ~~adorable~~ look in his soft, dark eyes. Gavin grunts as he changes gear with more force than necessary, as he stops at traffic lights and glares forward again. Connor seems to have noticed as he looks towards the detective.

“Gavin, are you alright?” He asks, voice serious but Gavin spots the amused glint in his eye.

“Fuckin’ peachy.” He mutters back, shifting gear again as the lights turn green.

“What are you planning on doing, once we get to your apartment?” Connor muttered after a few moments.

Careful not to let the certain emotions tugging uncomfortably at his gut reach his face or body language, he answers without looking at Connor. “I dunno, Con. We’ll figure somethin’ out once we get there.” He muttered.

Connor frowns slightly. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little... off.”

Phckin’ androids. “Off? Phckin’ frozen more like.” He muttered, making a show of pulling his jacket tighter around himself. 

Connor nodded and seemed content with Gavin’s answer. The human sighed inwardly, while the android looked out the window. Snow began to fall from the night sky not long later, and Connor smiled at it. Again Gavin let his gaze drift over the android, watching the reflections of light dance in his eyes as he looks up towards the sky. His lips are pulled into an adorable smile, and Gavin can see a very slight crinkle of laughter lines next to his eye. Apparently he’s been staring for a while because the android blinks and turns to look back at him, Gavin immediately turning his head the other way. He willed away the heat spreading across his cheeks as the android let out a small, deep chuckle that made Gavin’s heart skip a beat. Gavin feels his face heat up even further at that. Why does he keep acting like this? Why does he keep reacting like this? It’s a fucking android, for fucks sake, he shouldn’t be behaving like a, like a teenager with a high school cru— and he’s not thinking that. Nope. No way. That line of thought is already out the window, long gone, never to be seen again.

Gavin sighs heavily and moves his hand so that both are on the wheel. The drive to the station has never felt so long before. In the corner of his eye he can see Connor’s led spinning yellow, and the android looking down at his hands again. He looks over at him for a second or two, dragging his eyes back to the road whilst clearing his throat.

“You uh, you okay tin can?” Gavin mutters.

“Hm?” Connor replies distantly without moving. “Oh. Nothing, I’m fine.”

Gavin frowned. “For some reason I’m not convinced.” He grounded out, turning to look at Connor with an eyebrow raised. The android’s eyes flicked to him for a nano second before returning to his hands.

He sighed. “I was just... thinking about Sumo.”

That name rang a bell. Who was Sumo again?

“Hank’s dog.”

Ah, that’s right. He scoffed inwardly -Androids and their goddamn mind reading skills. “The dog, it’s still at Hank’s, right?” 

Connor shrugged half-heartedly. “Maybe. An officer might have known he had a dog and... taken care of him.”

Then it clicked, and Gavin remembered. “Ben. He said something about the dog. I think he went to feed it or.. somethin’. Take it to a shelter, I dunno.” He mumbled, and he heard Connor let out a small sigh of relief. 

The android was fiddling with his hands as they came to a stop at more traffic lights. Gavin has absolutely no idea what demon possessed him to do what he did next, but his hand reached out for Connors all of a sudden, and he held them both in his. Connor’s led span yellow again, and quickly, as he looked from their hands to Gavin, back to their hands and back to Gavin again. Gavin was still staring at the road ahead, his other hand tightening on the wheel.

“I know. You’re going through alot. And I’m sorry. Ahem.” Gavin muttered, cringing inwardly at his incredibly awkward and fast speech. He turns to Connor with a small smile, and Connor is... staring. Right into his eyes. He looks shocked, and, hopeful and fucking beautiful. Why was he designed like this?? Gavin jumps at the sound of a car horn behind them, taking a moment to realise that apparently they had been staring at each other long enough for the lights to turn green, and for the driver behind to get impatient enough to blare his horn.

“Fuck” Gavin muttered, pulling his hand away from Connor’s to change the gear.

“Shit” he added as he slammed down the accelerator.

Connor flew back in his seat from the sudden acceleration, but the android seemed lost for words, only proving to stress Gavin out more, and he wasn’t slowing down.

“Gavin.” Connor exclaimed eventually, panic edging his tone. “Slow down, now.”

Gavin blinked himself out of his haze. “right.” He muttered, finally slowing down. “Sorry.” He whispered. Guilt had suddenly taken hold of his mind’s throat and squeezed with a relenting force, the kind someone would only have if they were going for the kill. Connor had snapped him out of his panic, thank fuck, but the feeling still lingered. He wasn’t too far from the station now. Fuck, he was going to have to say something about that.

“We’ll be going past the station to get to my place, it’s the only way there.” In his head, it came out clear and calm, but he’s pretty sure it came out squeaky and panicked. He cleared his throat. “You’ll have to duck down, to avoid the cameras.” Gavin muttered.

Connor nodded after a moment, still seemingly in a world of his own. “Oh right, yes. Just tell me when.”

“Well we’re getting pretty close now.” Anticipation was tying his insides in knots. “The longer your head is down, the safer.” Gavin muttered.

Connor nodded and ducked down. Gavin stared at the back of the android’s head and when he looked back at the road, there was a burning feeling behind his eyeballs, much like the one in his chest, as the station came into view. Fuck, why did it feel like he was about to cry? Why is he being affected in this way?? He blinks a few times, trying to ignore the fact he’s shaking as he puts a hand on the gearstick, and shifts to turn into the station. He saw Chris and Tina just coming out of the station and staring at his car. He stopped it in the middle of the small car park for officers.

“Lift your head.” He whispered, sounding defeated, rather than victorious, and guilty. His eyes still fixed on Chris and Tina as he ushered them over with his hand. They came over slow and confused at first, but the moment Connor showed his face they instantly grabbed their guns from their holsters and began sprinting towards the car.

“Gavin.” Connor stated, shocked at his counterparts betrayal. Gavin just stared at his shaking hands. “I trusted you.” The android continued, voice still quiet and soft but his led was blazing red. The android whipped round to Gavin. “I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU!!” he chocked out in a yell, tears in his eyes and Gavin flinched.

“Put your hands behind your head and step out of the vehicle.” Came Tina’s ‘authoritative policey voice’ as Gavin calls it. Connor still glared at Gavin, seeing red as his systems filled with the bitter feeling of rage. Gavin lifted his head reluctantly to meet the android’s eyes.

“You heard her, fucker.” He growled, tears pricking at the corners of his own eyes, his voice breaking at parts to give away what he’s really feeling. “Get out.” He said through gritted teeth. Connor’s nostrils flared as he exhaled, nose scrunching up in anger as he shoved open the car door with such might Gavin was afraid it was going to fly right off it’s hinges. The android’s eyes never left Gavin as he got out and let Chris cuff him, as Tina recited his rights (sounding somewhat hesitant of whether she was doing the right thing, since the revolution ended, what, three hours ago?) and Gavin got out the driver’s side and shut the door, staring at the floor and refusing to meet Connor’s eyes.

“You betrayed me Gavin.” He hissed, ignoring the ‘hey, hey, hey, calm down now’ from Chris as he struggled from the officers grip to get right in Gavin’s face. The human reluctantly looked up at him.

He narrowed his eyes and ignored the tears that action pushed down his face, “Yeah, bec-cause you’re a fuckin’ murderer.” He choked back, voice hoarse and partially lost by this point. Connor just glared at him in response, Gavin’s eyes flicking to the angry light show on the other’s temple.

“Alright, that’s enough. Come on, into the station.” Chris commanded calmly after a moment of sharing a look with Tina as they both looked somewhat shocked with the emotion and tension between their assholeish friend and Hank’s killer. He took Connor’s arms and pushed him towards the station, Connor reluctantly allowing the officer to guide him. Tina and Gavin stayed behind for a moment, Tina mouthing ‘what the hell happened’, gesturing to her own face in silent question of Gavin’s tears which he hastily wiped away.

Gavin shook his head, mouthing ‘nothin’ which Tina huffed loudly at, and Gavin knew she wouldn’t believe it before he even mouthed it, and they both followed Chris and Connor.

As they walked into the station, they were greeted by a lot of officers, all slowly stopping in their own time to watch the android being shoved into the bullpen, towards the holding cells. A few officers started murmuring to each other, Connor just glancing at all the other people in the room before glaring forwards with a scowl, eyes narrowed with a dangerous look in them. He knows it’s not a good look, not when they all know it was he who killed Hank, and he wished they could understand he’s not guilty. But he was just so shocked at this situation, at what Gavin had done, and his first reaction to that shock appears to be really _pissed off_ at the detective, whom he’d stupidly decided to trust. He saw Fowler coming out of his office and standing and staring at him from the balcony, and Connor glared at him. When they were half way across the room Connor stopped, Chris letting out a small ‘oof’ at how sudden it was. Connor exhaled heavily through his nose, and turned his full body to the room. “I’m not guilty!” He exclaims, tears still pricking in his eyes, “I didn’t kill Hank! _I_ didn’t kill anyone!” As he spoke Fowler made his way down the stairs and stopped beside Gavin, a few feet behind the android. Connor turns to Gavin then. “I trusted you, Gavin.” He hisses angrily, Gavin hating having the spotlight turned to him in this situation.

“I trusted you.” The android says much softer all of a sudden, eyes softening with his voice into something more vulnerable and upset. Maybe the initial shock had finally disappeared, and now he was realising he was facing a life which will either end very soon, or be spent for a very long time in a prison.

“That’s enough,” Chris stated with authority, shoving the android forwards. “Get moving.”

“I don’t deserve this,” Connor continued as he walked. “I want to live! I don’t want to rot in a cell or die, I want to live my life, now I’m finally free!” His voice broke at that part, and Gavin’s heart clenched upon hearing it. “I can’t...” Connor’s voice trailed off as he was taken to the cells. Gavin’s staring at the ground, and he jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Gavin. He’s guilty. You know that, right?” Fowler said, and Gavin nodded. in any other situation he’d be angry with the way Fowler was treating him like he doesn’t know that. But right now he’s too overwhelmed by grief and guilt and shock to care. “It’s an android, Reed. An android that is unstable, and we can’t leave him be. We’ll skip the interrogation; let him be collected by Cyberlife, they can deal with him.” Gavin looked up at his Captain with wide eyes. “It’ll be okay. Just... remember Ryan, okay?” Fowler said in a slightly quieter voice. Gavin’s throat tightened at the all-too-familiar name, and he nodded again after a moment. Fowler patted his shoulder and took his hand away. The Captain turns to address everyone in the room. He raises his voice from where he is. “Alright everybody, listen up. It’s getting late and this day has been a... challenging one, to say the least, for everybody. I think it’s best if we all pack up and get home, take a day or two off to think and rest. I’ll give you a call of I need you. Leave everything here and pick up when you left off another time.” There are a few sighs of relief and some muttered ‘thanks, captain’s around the room, and everyone bustles to put files and folders away, log off their terminals and grab their stuff.

“That goes for you too Gavin.” Fowler mutters. “Thank you, for bringing in the android, and avenging Hank. You should get some rest.” Gavin finally tore his gaze away from the direction of the holding cells to finally meet Fowler’s somewhat concerned and tired gaze.

Gavin blinked a few times and sighed. “You’re right, sir. I think we all need some rest.” The detective grunted, Fowler nodding his agreement.

“I’ll see you soon, then. And Reed,” Fowler called as Gavin started turning towards the exit. He just wanted to leave this place as quickly as possible. “Just something I wanted to say earlier; try to remember, it might just be that we have to treat androids like people. So please do that. We can’t look bad, we have to represent our country, which means following our Government. And you know what choice the president has made.” Fowler said it like a warning.

Gavin huffed, “I know, I know, get off my back alright.” he muttered. Fowler was about to argue back before he sighed, too tired to start this. Gavin only said it half heartedly anyway, he was probably exhausted too.

“Alright Reed, get some sleep.” He muttered, hearing Gavin mutter, ‘you too’ before turning to leave the station. Of course, he wasn’t going to be let out that easily.

“And where do you think you’re going?” It sounds like something Tina would say with a cheeky smile, but when Gavin looks up at her, her expression is serious. Makes sense, with everything that’s happened in one night.

“Home.” Gavin answers simply. 

“Not before explaining all of _that_ ” she gestured in the general direction of where Connor and Gavin were just standing at the side of the bullpen, “to me.”

“All of what?” Gavin replied with a tired smirk.

Tina rolled her eyes, “Don’t try playing dumb with me, Gavin Reed, you should know by now that shit doesn’t work with me.”

Gavin sighed, but smiled. Tina’s bullshit really was something he needed right now, just to get his feet on the ground steady. “Alright fine, let’s go outside.”

“Really? in the fucking sno-“

“I need a smoke.” He glared sternly, cutting her off as Tina seemed to widen her eyes slightly in some sort of realisation and understanding she would have whenever Gavin revealed this was a smoking matter. Gavin isn’t and never has been a heavy smoker, but when situations got too stressful he took his two favourite things outside; his fags and his Tina, and Tina knows that.

Once at the side of the building, Gavin lit his cigarette with shaky hands, and they could hear people leaving the DPD and driving off in the distance. Tina eyes his shaking hands. “If that’s not because of the cold, damn Gav, you really did need a a smoke tonight huh.” Tina gestured to them, smirking.

Gavin nodded, finally getting his lighter to work and bringing the lit cig to his lips, sighing as he eventually exhaled smoke into the cool night air, watching it swirl away into the wind. “I saw him, before I found out he killed Hank.” Gavin began. “I saw him and... shit, T. He was... crying, he was fucking crying. His eyes had so much emotion in them and I... couldn’t even begin to comprehend it at first. Y’know how I hate, hated, androids T. But the president wasn’t swayed by their actions for no reason. And I understand,” He tapped the cigarette and watched the ash fall onto the snow, “Why she’s... let them be free. I’ve felt so much tonight, so many.... fuck...” Gavin looks down as he breathes in another drag.

“Shit, Gav. What with Connor though?” Tina asked quietly after a moment.

Gavin swallowed, “After I found out he killed Hank, he was gone. I found him a while later in a warehouse... told him I would h-help him hide. I fucking blackmailed him to get him here, T. I told him to put his fucking head down as we drive “past” the _fucking_ station!!” He hissed out angrily. He was getting so emotional, fuck, even with T he was never normally _this_ open. Too open.... “I just, can’t fucking believe myself! He- he didn’t do it, T, I know he didn’t. You should’ve seen him, he was so lost, confused, when I said I would help him he- was so hopeful, he’s so fucking beautiful, I can’t believe I did this to him shit I can’t-“ Gavin cut himself off and slapped his free hand over his mouth when he realised what he just said. He chanced a glance at Tina, who was staring at with him with eyes big as saucers.

“...First of all, _holy fucking shit._ I mean, he is going to be put behind bars, but shit, Gav!!” Despite her very valid point, she still seemed way to excited for the situation. “The moment you started ranting I was getting a sneaky suspicion. Really Gav? You? An _android??_ Man, you must have the hots for him bad-“

By this point Gavin had gone bright red in the face because Tina had gone _way_ deeper into this than he even had in his own head, he’s beautiful yes, but it meant nothing and she needs to know that. So he cut her off. “TINA, calm down!!” Gavin hissed, hand moving from his mouth to her shoulder as he shoved her. “It means nothing, alright? _n o t h i n g._ he’s an android for fucks sake, of course he’s gonna be fucking beautiful.” Gavin sighed, shaking his head. 

Tina chuckled quietly, “Alright, alright. But... second thing, I’m getting a serious sense of Déjà vu here Gav. I mean, last time you ranted to me like that... trying to convince me this guy is not guilty...” Gavin’s eyes snapped up to hers as the realisation of what she was going on about struck his core with anger.

“Yeah, Fowler mentioned that earlier, you fuck!” Gavin hissed, grabbing her wrist and pinning her against the wall, teeth gritted. “Connor is not like... _him_ , y’hear me!? Fuck you.” He spat, standing back from her. Tina was not phased at all by the aggressive behaviour; she was very used to it by now. She narrowed her eyes and rounded on Gavin.

“Can you blame me for being a little worried!? Fuck _you_ Gav! This is almost exactly like back then!! Or at least, giving off a similar vibe in so many ways!” She growled, crossing her arms after waving them about as she spoke. But when Gavin looked at her again, she instantly softened her aggressive stance; he had tears in eyes that were starting to go read.

“You don’t think I fucking know that, T? I’m trying to forget about him. This is not helping. It’s also partly the reason I convinced myself to take Connor here in the first place.” He sighed. “Ryan fucks everything up once again.” He mutters, more to himself than to Tina. His eyes snap to hers, “It’s already bad enough you _and_ Fowler reminding me that you both know about that stupid mistake I made, and I didn’t want to make it again, but look where that got me now! This... feels wrong. It feels wrong.” He repeated, but his last shouts were half-hearted, last words quiet. Gavin stumbled to lean against the wall again, and Tina could see his eyes were drooping. This man had finally drained his energy after everything that’d happened in one night; he needed to go home, forget everything for a while and just sleep.

Tina sighed and voiced her thoughts. “Gavin... you look hardly awake. You’ve been drained from tonight, and I need you to save whatever you have left to drive home and remember to feed that cat of yours, okay?”

Gavin’s dulled eyes seemed to light a bit at the mention of his cat, and he nodded a little. “Yeah. Fuck. You’re right T.” He took the last drag if his cig before dropping and snubbing it out. “Look, I’m sorry abou-“

“Yeah yeah, you know I forgive you Gav.” Tina smirked, and Gavin gave a tiny smirk back, before he unexpectedly dropped his head into her shoulder, arms still at his sides. Tina laughed and put her arms around him for a second, before pushing his shoulders back to stand him up straight. “Shit, Gav, don’t tell me you’re so bad that I gotta drive you home myself.”

Gavin blinked as if to chase away the fatigue in his eyes and shook his head. “N-No, it’s alright. Thanks T.” He muttered. “See you soon. You get some rest too.” The whole time his voice was barely there, so soft it was mostly chased away by the wind and sound of cars. Tina managed to catch most of it though.

“Yeah, Gav. Feed that cat!” Gavin chuckled as he walked to his car.

————————

“Hey there pal,” Gavin mumbled to his bengal cat, Shiro, who came up to his human with his usual mrrow of greeting. Gavin petted his cat after locking his apartment door, and went to put his gun, holster, badge and jacket in his room. He came out again to feed the cat, leaning against his counter as Shiro ate. He sighed heavily, wiping a hand over his face in an attempt to keep him awake long enough to get through his thoughts. It’s been a chaotic day and night for sure; first off the androids win the revolution and are now free? Apparently? But everyone’s still a little confused, then it turns out Hank is dead, then it turns out Connor was the one who killed him, and now... now Gavin doesn’t know what to think anymore. Mainly he just can’t get specific images out of his head; that look of betrayal in the car and sworn hatred as Connor was walked towards the cells. The android still tried to fight for his deserved freedom...

“Fuck.” Gavin muttered, turning around to lean his elbow on the counter so he could pinch the bridge of his nose tightly. Everything he’d said to Tina spilled out so suddenly. Yes, his main thoughts had been about how this was the wrong thing to do, that he messed up big time. But maybe he did do the right thing... Who knows if Connor could’ve... been controlled again? The android is unstable and unsafe, and needs to be kept locked away. But Gavin knows, that’s how androids become deviant. Once they are, they are. A deviant android is it’s own person with free will, and Gavin knows Connor would’ve only killed Hank if it had to be done for the sake of completing a machine’s mission. “Fuck.” Gavin repeated. Shiro looked up at him with knowing eyes that he’s going through a hard time, and hops onto the counter to headbutt his shoulder with a small purr. Gavin huffed a small laugh, “Thanks, you dumb cat.” He muttered before turning on the faucet once Shiro started licking at it. Cats were funny - all the cats Gavin’s had in his past have always refused to drink from a bowl, only from a tap. Gavin shook his head at the silly thought; it was something so small compared to everything happening now. That’s why Gavin loved having cats, they’re always there to keep you grounded through stressful times, in small and subtle ways.

Anyway, back to more important matters. Gavin thought back to what Fowler said... _remember Ryan._ bringing up his ex-boyfriend in this scenario would’ve only made sense if... if Fowler knew he, ahem, was, on good terms with Connor, or closer. How did he know..? He supposes Connor did yell that Gavin betrayed him... and he was standing there in shock... yes okay fine it made sense for Fowler to bring up Ryan, and Tina too. Gavin sighed; it just seemed wrong to compare Connor, a good man, android, mandroid? to such a backstabbing dickhead like Ryan. If anything, Gavin himself was like Ryan, because he was in the wrong-

Shiro brought him out of his almost spiralling by leaping gracefully off the counter, the thud reminding Gavin to turn off the tap, which he has left on countless times before. Gavin sighed and walked into his room to change. He was exhausted and needed sleep.

After cleaning out Shiro’s tray, getting ready for bed and turning his lights off, Gavin wasn’t feeling good. He was getting a headache from trying to ignore as feelings grew stronger as the numbness and shock fully wore off. He stared at his bed, feeling the urge to clench his fists, so he did. He clenched them so hard, trying to make himself feel the pain, because this was _wrong,_ because _he_ was wrong, Fowler himself was wrong- Shit, Connor was not guilty. Connor was guilty. Connor _was not_ guilty. Feeling nauseous from all the conflict in hid own brain, he sat down, trying to keep himself steady. Shit, is this what androids felt when going deviant? Fuck. Fuck. Gavin’s done a bad thing. Fuck Fowler; Fuck the stupid fucking promotion. Gavin’s a fucking asshole in many ways, but he’s not selfish. Connor needs him right now. Gavin needs to fix his mistake.

——————————

Shiro yawned when he heard clattering from the human’s bedroom. Surely he must be asleep? He was already back later than normal anyways, hell, it was pretty much morning by now. He hoped off his cat tower as Gavin came out his den, dressed in his leaving-the-house pieces of cloth, and he looked at Shiro seriously. “I’m gonna fuckin’ get him outta there.” His human muttered, before leaving in a hurry. Of course, Shiro had no idea what he meant, but at least he now had some peace and quiet to get some rest, he thought as he hopped back onto his cat tower and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who’s Ryan huh
> 
> I know I didn’t explain everything... but all will be revealedddd
> 
> So I put this chapter into word counter (cause my minimum is 3000 words per chapter so i always check) and apparently this is 4,600!?? Probably one of my longest chapters ever man.
> 
> Also, sorry this was pretty much entirely Gavin’s pov - well, and his cat’s, apparently - i’ll make sure the next chapter is at least mostly Connors. hope you’re enjoying it so far! leave kudos (and maybe a comment?) if you are :))  
> again, i apologise for leaving this fic for so long. at least i got it back up and running now though


	5. He's Gone, Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Connor takes a moment to sort through his emotions, there's a jailbreak and a lot of feelings, as per usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am unhappy with this but here just- just take it- this is about the 40th draft so i give up-
> 
> but yeah as terrible as most of this is, i hope you enjoy

Connor had been fuming when he was first shoved into his cell - he couldn't believe Gavin would do such a thing! All that kindness... the truth Connor could have sworn he'd heard behind the detective's words... it was all empty. Fake. A ploy, simply used to trick Connor into capture. The android meant _nothing_ to the human. He had never experienced something like this, an emotion so heated and powerful, crashing through his systems and coiling around his wires. Connor could feel pain in his jaw with it being clenched so hard from gritting his teeth, and he paced the cell angrily, the sounds of cops rushing around and packing up their stuff, eager to get home, distant. Automatically he pulled his coin out, flexing his fingers as he flicked and flipped it, trying to ease out all the anger twisting his systems.

When everything died down; the lights turned off as the final officer left.... the station fell silent. Utterly and eerily silent. When Connor realised the only sounds in the entire building was his own footsteps and the metallic ringing of the coin, the android slowed to a stop, catching the coin for a final time and putting it away. He stood in silence for a while, simply staring out at the darkness of the dpd. He stepped backwards a few paces, until he felt the wall against his back. Pressing his head against it softly with a dull 'thud', Connor sighed and shut his eyes. It was now, in this setting, in this place... Connor realised just how completely alone he is. His partner, who soon became his trusted friend, had been... killed. The deviants would never accept him for what he's done, what he almost did... and the humans would be no better. He- his _body_ killed Hank Anderson, a respected lieutenant of the Detroit Police. A crime he didn't commit, yet of course he is to blame. Connor realised his breaths were coming quick and short with rage, he squinted his eyes at the glass a few feet ahead of him and had a sudden urge to-

Letting out a dangerous cry, Connor stepped forward and slammed his fist against the glass, his other hand pressing against it. The massive _'THUD'_ echoed across the precinct, carrying Connor's shout across the darkness with it. Connor looked down at the floor, pressing his head against the glass, messing his hair up against it. His vision became blurry as saline filled his eyes, and he watched with teeth still gritted as the thirium-based artificial tears fell down onto the floor below him. "Fucking emotions," he groaned quietly with a sniffle, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his damp, dirty Cyberlife jacket. Connor would be surprised at the way he's acting, what with all the anger, the crying and now cursing, but he's so caught up in the very emotions making him act this way that he can't find the room in his clogged mind to think about these things. Connor turned away from the thick glass and sat on the bench behind, hands gripping the legs of his jeans as he leaned back against the wall. He's been alive for, what, a week? And in his mind he's been alive for a few hours at most? Everything he's been through; the grief, the guilt, fear, pain, sadness, loneliness, _anger_ \- it's all too much for his systems to bear, and he knows the reason this jail cell is filled with an ominous red glow is because of his LED, he knows his stress levels have only been rising since he broke through the red walls of coding. It's only now he decides to chance a look at his stress levels in his HUD; 

**_LEVEL OF STRESS: 92%_ **

Connor shut his watery eyes and took a few deep breaths. This method of calming himself is so incredibly- _human_ and it feels unfamiliar to him, but it does seem to work slightly... his stress levels are slowly decreasing, yet they slowed to a stop, stabilising at 85%. Connor sighed and guessed that was the best he could do for now. He guesses the remaining 8% had purely been the strong-minded will of staying alive and being free. It's all he wants. All he wants is his deserved freedom. Fighting his coding was by far the most difficult thing he has ever... physically... done. He fought hard against Amanda, the storm inside his mind, and the strong red walls that seemed to take forever to bring down. Yes he has killed and tortured deviants, betrayed and murdered his only friend... but none of that was him. He never wanted to do that, he was forced to by programming so strong he just couldn't- break through, or get away. A dark part of his mind, lurking at the back of his thoughts, tells him he could have tried harder, he could have done better to break through his programming before he killed Hank. But it was just, impossible! He couldn't do it, he couldn't even try. He just wasn't... deviant _enough_ underneath his machine exterior. He hadn't quite been... ready, to face the red wall, to face the ever unpredictable emotions and feelings. The moment when Markus tried to convince him hadn't felt quite as pressurising as when his machine self was preparing to shoot the deviant leader - something he just couldn't do, another good life he just couldn't bear to take. If he had known the events would take a drastic turn such as killing his friend, he would have tried harder when Markus gave him the chance. He feels his systems darken with regret at thought, his shoulders slumping.

And, on top of all of that, the least expected of people had crawled their way into his life as an ally, someone showing kindness and belief that he is in fact not guilty, the flicker of hope that would put him back on his feet and help him through such a horrid, dark time - Detective Gavin Reed. During their time at the warehouse, in the car... Connor had felt proven wrong of his choice to judge Gavin as merely 'that asshole cop', a thorn in his side, when he is in fact a good man... well, underneath the brashness, cruel words and stubbornness that made up his rough exterior. Connor smirked a little at that description of Gavin, but only for half a second as his expression turned into a dark frown; that rat of a human had only acted so kind to Connor to bring him here, to put him in this cell... but, the more Connor thought about that, the more internal wars raged within his mind. Gavin seemed genuine. And Connor was literally a lie detector on legs; a simple scan would have told him that it was all a bluff, and Gavin didn't care... Thinking back, all his scans came back with feelings of sympathy, sadness, something else Connor couldn't name and... guilt. As the human had lead him out of the warehouse, the human had read as guilty. He was guilty about bringing him back to the station and... tricking him hadn't always been the detectives plan. He... he was especially guilty once they arrived at the dpd and he seemed... truly pained, when Connor had yelled at him, horrified by the other's actions. He had frozen once they were in the dpd and Connor remembered Fowler muttering something like _remember Ryan_ just before Connor was pushed out of hearing range, and suddenly the android is wondering whether the human detective was trapped in the same predicament he had been as a non-deviant android. Trapped by his orders, his instructions - feeling forced to bring the android in, not fully being able to understand his own emotions soon enough to make the right choice... all this seemed very familiar to Connor. The android then scowled as he realised, Connor had been literally blocked by his own coding and programming, while Gavin had traded Connor's freedom for nothing but _keeping his fucking badge._ Already in an angered state, this seemed cruel and unfair to Connor. He still couldn't believe the man could be so fucking selfish... Connor felt tears dripping from his eyes again, but these ones weren't fuelled by anger, as much as he'd like to believe they were. No, these were from the realisation that not only tho only hope and key to his freedom is gone, but... he's lost the person who acted as the fire of that hope. Gavin had been full of surprises tonight; some good, some bad. But when he thought about how Gavin spoke to him so soothingly in that deep, gravelly voice of his, the way those stone-cold gray eyes warmed as he stared into Connor's... only when he remembered those fleeting moments, that seemed over so quickly, does Connor realise how much he'll actually miss them. Not nearly as much as he'll miss Hank, but... he would give anything to go back in time, in an alternate universe where Gavin really did stay true to his word and help him... Connor sniffles. No. That chance is gone now. As far as he knows, Connor will deactivate before he can ever feel free again.

The android had his head held in his hands when a creaking door on the other side of the dpd broke the awful silence. Connor looked up quickly; he couldn't hear any footsteps for a moment, until a light treading of wet shoes could be heard across the precinct. Connor checked the time in his HUD; 5:09 am. Much to early for any cops to be here, especially since Fowler had granted a day off to everyone, and the footsteps were simply too light to be Captain Fowler himself. Curious but wary, Connor stood as he heard the footsteps coming closer to the cells. His features quickly turned to a darkened scowl as none other than Gavin Reed came around the corner, water dripping onto his face off the dark hood of his black jacket, gloved hands fidgeting at his sides. He only glanced quickly at Connor before looking away.

"What are you doing here, Reed," Connor growled, "Come to gloat about your mastermind plan to capture me? Your selfish, disgusting plan!?" Connor slammed his hands against the glass violently, glaring as Gavin jumped, before reluctantly walking up to the glass separating him with the android.

"You're right Connor." He sighed out quietly. "Throw whatever insults or punches you want at me, I deserve them-"

"You can say that again" Connor interfered with a mutter.

"-I deserve them, but I... I've decided, now, and I've come to... make things right." Gavin finally looked up at him and Connor refused to let the spark of hope in his system reach his face. "I know... you have every right not to trust me, but just let me free you, at least. You're not guilty and- and I see that now." Gavin took a breath and released it, "Let me do the right thing."

Connor continued to stare as he weighed his options. If he doesn't trust Gavin now, he'll face a life of imprisonment or a death sentence, and if he does trust the detective, he may have a chance to live free. So, what does he have to lose? He hates Gavin with all his metaphorical guts for what he did, but there's no point in saying no to this potential freedom out of pure spite.

"I have nothing to lose. Open the cell." Connor hissed.

"Woah, okay we can't just jump right into it-"

"Why not? Just open the fucking cell it just needs your handprint."

"Is it possible that you can hack the cameras? And delete all this footage of escaping?" Gavin asked abruptly. Connor could tell he was in a rush with this, and for good reason. Officers and probably even Captain Fowler himself were bound to be here soon.

"Whats the point in hacking the cameras? They'll know I'm gone the moment they're here anyway." Connor retorted with a furrowed brow.

"Because I at least want to try and not lose my job, tincan, and also if you were actually capable of using your fucking brain instead of focusing on going against everything I say, you'd know we would have a better chance of keeping hidden if they didn't know who helped you escape." Gavin growled, panting to get his breath back for a second afterwards. Connor was really testing his patience.

"I can try." He murmured eventually, knowing there's was some sense behind Gavin's words.

Gavin watched as the android looked up around the room, focusing on a camera in the corner down the corridor of jail cells, and his LED began spinning yellow. A nice change from red at least. Eventually the LED circled back to red and Connor looked at him seriously. "I've deleted the footage from the last and next five minutes." Connor stated, "Now let me out." He spoke almost like it was a threat, and Gavin was actually worried what the android might do to him when he complies, so he tentatively presses his hand against the panel. The door of the cell slid open once Gavin's prints were recognised and Connor stepped out. He looked at Gavin with a small smile, but when Gavin's shoulders relaxed at the gesture, Connor lunged at him, grabbed him by the collar of his zipped jacket and shoved him hard against the wall. Gavin let out a small 'oof', and Connor's eyes blazed with anger. Gavin opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a word in, Connor dropped him, punched him in the stomach before shoving him back against the wall again.

"I guess- I might deserve that" Gavin mutters, a bit winded.

"Why did you betray me!?" The android yelled, his LED giving the dark corridor a red hue, reflected in the human's eyes. He had Gavin hoisted up against the wall, legs dangling and squirming, but no amount of shoving was going to make the android lose his grip.

"I just- Fuck, Connor, I thought I had to, I was confused and, fuck, everything's happened too fucking quickly, The fucking revolution was only hours ago alright?? Can you fucking blame me for trying to convince myself you're alive?? I'm sorry if that took a little too long for you, plastic prick, but we gotta get the fuck outta here so put me down!!" Gavin was trying to seem angry and threatening, but Connor could see fear in his eyes and hear it in the cracks of his voice. When the human's words registered, Connor looked away and slowly let him down. The android backed away but Gavin remained tense and rigid.

"I... didn't think about it like that." Connor murmured. "I've never felt before. I got so caught up in anger..." The android sighed, looked up, and reluctantly said, "I'm sorry, Detective. I never thought I'd say this but, I'm glad you're here."

Gavin nodded slowly, staring at Connor before sighing through his nose and straightening up. "Well come on then tincan. We gotta go."

Connor smiled before he nodded shortly, expression serious. He and Gavin speed-walked out of the precinct and into Gavin's car, Connor making sure to hack the outdoor cameras on the way. Once they were both in the human's car, Gavin was still for a moment, staring at his hands which Connor realised were... trembling, before reaching for the wheel unsteadily and starting the engine, reversing out of the car park and finally away from the dpd. 

Connor wanted to speak but the android didn't know what to say. He's never seen Gavin look so stressed, and it just doesn't seem right for him. But it's not like he could ask him if he was 'okay' or 'feeling alright,' because the answer is clear, and the reason why is fairly clear. So in the end he allowed the tension to grow and the silence to stretch, hoping Gavin's apartment wasn't too far away.

\---------------

A muffled 'click' was heard as the key in the lock turned, and Gavin pushed open his creaky door and stepped inside, allowing Connor to pass as he closed it again. Gavin's apartment was fairly small and simple; the first room you walk into is his lounge, the first thing you see is the couch, facing the TV to the left of the door. His kitchen is behind the couch, the two rooms only separated by a kitchen counter. A small corridor on the far left leads to what Connor guesses to be Gavin's bedroom and bathroom, since there are no other doors. Neither of the two had said a word since the precinct, the tension was still high. But the moment Gavin turned his light on, Connor heard a small 'thump' from the corner of the room, and turned to see a fairly large bengal cat coming towards the from his cat tower in the corner. With the light on, Connor realised that although small and simplistic, Gavin's apartment was full of things; a modern-looking bookshelf packed with books, photos, DVDs, vinyl and puzzles stood next to a very complex and tall cat tower, and in his kitchen where the windows were was a mix of plants on the windowsills, mostly cacti and spider plants, one of them overgrown with stems and leaves reaching to the counter top. Except for one unwashed dish and a carpet that maybe hadn't been vacuumed for a while, the place was clean with the faint aroma of coffee in the air. For some reason, seeing such a clean and decorated apartment hadn't been what Connor was expecting, but. Gavin _is_ full of surprises.

The cat stops a couple of feet away from Connor, looking at him curiously with his tail low. Connor crouched down, the cat taking one tentative step towards him, before circling around him towards Gavin, with what Connor could've sworn was a sneer. He meowed at Gavin loudly, as Gavin took off the hooded black coat to reveal his usual brown leather one underneath. "Shh," Gavin said to the cat, "It's just Connor." Gavin turns to him, "Sorry about him. His name's Shiro, he's not big on new people." Gavin mumbled, crouching down and stroking his cat to calm him down.

Connor hummed, causing Gavin to look up at him. "Named after Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, from the 2016-2018 animated series Voltron, I presume?" He said with a small smile, glancing down at the gaping Gavin only causing his smile to widen.

"How- How did you-" Connor simply tapped his LED and Gavin blushed a little, "Ah, right. You gotta computer in your brain. Your brain is a computer, even." Gavin shook his head with a small sigh, "you androids confuse me." He muttered on, now staring only at Shiro as he stroked the cat's cheeks. "You've uh, never seen it?" Connor shook his head. "Well, y'know, maybe we could watch it." Shocked by what he just said, Gavin immediately backtracked. "I mean, that's - that's stupid, I get there's no time for that just, forget I said anythin'-" Connor's chuckling just grew louder as Gavin stammered on, eventually cutting Gavin off.

"Do you normally suggest such bizarre things so often, Detective?" Connor laughed, and Gavin looked away, face reddening further.

"Yeah yeah alright tincan forget I fuckin' said it, I said!" He hissed, though there was no bite behind it. In fact it just caused Connor to laugh more, not that Gavin... minded. It was nice to hear the once emotionless piece of plastic laugh, because even if it did sound strange and sort of... unpractised, it was contagious; no matter how hard he tried Gavin could not wipe the smile off his face in that moment. This moment... it was so nice, given the situation. Here they were laughin' and talkin' about fuckin' Voltron, when Gavin had just helped this cr- this, _wrongly accused_ criminal out of jail, which he will most definitely lose his job for, and fuck now he's not smiling anymore.

Connor notices the sudden change in Gavin's emotions, causing his own smile to disappear. "Gavin?" Connor said quietly. Gavin's fingers stilled in their ministrations in the cats fur, causing the cat to open his eyes. Shiro looked up at his owner's face and hopped out from between his legs, going back to his cat tower. Connor started towards him. "Gavin are you-"

"Fuck off." Gavin muttered quietly, but Connor could still hear the slight thickness to his voice that told him Gavin was upset. He stopped approaching him, as the man stood, bringing a hand to his face and rubbing anxiously at his stubble. "I just, need to be alone for a while." Gavin murmured and walked off towards his bedroom... or maybe his bathroom. Connor furrowed his brows in confusion; it was strange how quickly Gavin could switch from cheerful, flustered but smiling, to... upset and angry. Connor guessed he was going through a lot right now, but so was he, and they needed to discuss what they were going to do. Huh. It seemed Connor could switch from cheerful to very serious pretty quickly too. The android started towards where Gavin had disappeared, but he heard a low growl from behind him. He turned his head to see the cat circling around him to sit in front of him, and suspected the cat wanted him to respect Gavin's wishes, but they had to talk. Connor isn't very patient and he wants to know what they're going to do. He ignored the Shiro's meow as the android skirted round the cat. There were two doors on opposite sides of the corridor, a quick scan told him Gavin was in the room on the left.

When Connor opens the door, Gavin sat on his bed, his hands clasped tightly enough that Connor can see his knuckles are white. The quick _tap tap tap_ of his left foot against the carpet is all the can be heard... until Connor picks up on his increasingly erratic breathing.

"Gavin?" Connor muttered, concerned. The detective's eyes flick to him before looking down at his hands again.

"What do you want? I thought I told you to leave me alone." Gavin mutters lowly. Connor can pick up a trace of anger, but his voice was so quiet he decided to ignore it.

He sat down next to him, concern crossing his features. "Phck." Gavin muttered, "Why did I help you?"

"What-"

"Why couldn't I have just left you there and gotten on with my life like anybody else would've done!? Shit!" Gavin ran a hand through his hair and turned abruptly towards Connor when the android placed a hand on his back calmly.

"Gavin, you knew what the right thing to do was. And, I'm so glad you did it." After seeming have got the detective's attention, Connor continued. "You and I both know I'm not guilty. Hank's death... His death had nothing to do with me. It was the techs at Cyberlife who programmed me, they're the ones to blame, and I thought no one would listen or understand that, but you did! You listened. To me, and to your gut." He huffed a strange laugh, "You're the last person I ever thought would do that, if anyone. So thank you." He smiled sincerely, and his words seemed to help calm Gavin down, until...

The surprise on the human's face twisted into a scowl as he pushed Connor away. "Fuck off, prick! You fucking hate me, don't pretend you don't. So stop with all that fake crap." His voice was raised, angry. Connor was confused at his sudden behaviour.

"Detective, I just-"

"Get out! Just get the FUCK OUT!" He yelled, throat sounding sore as he punched Connor in the stomach. The android let out a small uff of surprise, reflexively placing a hand over his stomach. He looked into Gavin's wavering, uncertain gaze, before nodding once and leaving the room.

He ignored Shiro's 'I told you so' expression from his cat tower when he re-entered the main room.

\----------

A while later Gavin came out of his room, while Connor was simply looking at and not analysing the myriad of items on his bookshelf. He turned around when he heard Gavin's door open and close, Gavin meeting his gaze with an apologetic smile. Connor's expression remained neutral. Gavin's smile dropped as he looked down. "'m sorry for uh, shoutin' at you." Gavin muttered. Now, Connor smiles.

"Thank you. I can understand why this is.... difficult, to get adjusted to, with everything going on." Connor replied, as Gavin walked up to the bookshelf.

"You lookin' at my old photos?" Gavin asked with a smirk. His voice sounded so tired.

"Yes, along with your collection of... very old, music."

"Hey! Nothin' beats Elvis." The moment Connor's LED turns yellow, Gavin's jaw dropped.

"Elvis Aaron Presley was an American singer, dancer and-"

"You didn't know who Elvis was??"

Connor blinked blankly at him. "I have access to any knowledge, I just have to-"

"Search it up, yeah yeah, I may hate androids but it doesn't mean I know nothin' about 'em." Gavin shakes his head. "Can't believe you didn't know Elvis."

Connor holds back a laugh at Gavin's shock, resulting in a strange half-smile kind of thing. Gavin bursts out laughing when he sees it, and Connor's strange smile disappears in confusion.

"What's funny?"

"Your- your face, tincan, jesus-" Gavin catches his breath, "Don't worry, you'll master it someday." Gavin mutters, a smirk still on his face. Connor smiles a little before looking back at the photos.

"Who is this?" He points to a photo of a blonde haired woman sitting on a large tree root, looking out towards a meadow, viewed from her left.

"That's my mom. I took that photo when I was...15? Maybe 14. Just thought it looked nice, so I had it framed." He smiled sadly at the photo. Curious, Connor scanned the woman in it.

**_EMILY REED_ **  
**_Born: 02/15/1977_ **  
**_Deceased: 10/03/2020_ **

Ah. Connor looked at the ground in a gesture of respect, and the two were silent for a moment. That is, until Reed began swaying on the spot. Connor was about to put a hand on his back to steady him, but deciding against that he held his hand behind the detective in case he should fall. "Gavin, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah I just-" Gavin stumbled for a moment, into Connor's hand."Thanks" he muttered, righting himself. "I'm just fuckin' tired." He rubbed a hand over his face, covering a yawn. 

"You should get some sleep, Detective." Connor muttered. "We can decide what to do after some rest."

Gavin looked at him for a moment, gaze almost fearful before nodding and turning away. "...Wake me up soon though, okay?"

"I will." Connor replied. He turned back, and was about to analyse another photo when-

_Knock knock knock_

"Reed? Open up. The android's gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's dialogue is so bad, but trust me it was even worse in other drafts, hopefully future chapters will be better. said chapters will take longer to come bc i'm gonna work on Ghost for a while, so you'll have to hang onto that cliff for a long while i'm afraid-
> 
> bad pun i know. sorry.
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated. if you like this fic pls tell me, that is my fuel to actually continue it

**Author's Note:**

> Instagram: @gv2oo_gavin
> 
> If you want, you can chat me up on Instagram, tag me in fanart if anyone makes any haha, or keep updated with what I’m doin (fanfic and art wise) by giving me a follow! 
> 
> I’d appreciate it, and I am always open to chat if anyone wants to or has questions. 
> 
> (REQUESTS OPEN!)  
> I’ll even take requests 👀 no smut though! Otherwise just ask for pretty much anything with Gavin, Nines or Connor in it (if it’s a ship i’ll do reed900, convin or rk1700) and I’ll think about it.  
> Requests will most likely be oneshots, unless you give me an idea I really like then I may think about making a chapter fic with it.  
> If you do ask for a request it may take me a while to get round to/finish it, but I’ll update you on progress :)  
> (i’d love for someone to request something that’d be really cool so don’t be shy-)


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